Tuesday, April 01, 2003

IT JUST ISN'T FAIR: Tonight we went to watch the Nashville Predator's last home game for the hockey season. The national anthem, as it does these days, left me teary-eyed (despite the annoying tendency of pop singers -- this time Shedaisy -- to over-sing it). Most of the game I spent watching CNN (we go to sporting events to give our son a thrill, not for the love of the game). The images of hungry, frightened Iraqi children contrasted sharply with that of my son, happily stuffing his mouth full of M&Ms watching all the hoopla, and of my daughter, fat, round, and utterly without want. Then the news of Pfc. Jessica Lynch's rescue flashed on the screen, and I thought of her parents, who must have been caught in a horrible limbo for more than a week, knowing their daughter was probably dead, but clinging to the hope that she lived -- that, in contrast with my life during the past week, when the spring days have been sunny and warm, our dogwoods are blooming, and I've spent the days weeding and planting flowers. It's unfair that I should be so happy while most of the rest of humanity should suffer so much, that my life should be so completely different from the lives of millions of other people. But it's the life I have, and I'd be dishonest and foolish if I said I would want to give it up, so that I could share in the misery of others. Besides, I'm not guaranteed to avoid suffering; I've had my share already and will probably get more in the future. Instead, I hope and pray that this war will improve the lives of those who survive it and that, when it's my turn to suffer, I make it through whatever lies ahead with grace, diginity and faith.

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