When I was pregnant with The Boy, I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but I'd also read enough horror stories to be a bit worried about it. My mom was a long-term nurser though -- my older brother for 2 years, me for 2 1/2 and my little brother for 3 years, so I knew it could be done. I was determined to do it for a while and besides, I knew I really didn't want to deal with stinky, messy, expensive formula if I didn't have to.
Nursing wasn't all wonderful. We went through a lot of early pain, cracks, and bleeding -- and later on clogged ducts and thrush, but The Boy and I kept it up for 25 months and it was a wonderful time. When he weaned I was ready to give it up, but was sad about it at the same time.
When The Girl was born, I was not about to try anything else -- although I quickly learned that you have to relearn a lot about nursing every time. Nursing a toddler is very different from nursing a newborn and I went through all the problems again, except for thrush, and experienced new cramping pains that weren't there the first time either.
I would have liked to have nursed The Girl longer, but I also do not have any desire to tandem nurse, so after cutting down slowly through the early stages of my pregnancy, she finally weaned about a month ago at 21 months. Again, I am a bit sad that we've passed out of that stage, but I was ready to do it and so was she.
Soon I'll be starting up again with Baby #3. I know now that nursing a newborn is different and that I can't pick up where I left off with the last one. We'll have to form our own bond. I also have every expectation that it will hurt for a few days, but I know that that will pass. I'm looking forward to meeting this new little one in a few months, and one of the things I look forward to most is to watch him or her grow, fed with something only I can provide. Sighing contentedly like a little milk-drunk and soothed by me when the big world seems overwhelming.
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