Thursday, August 05, 2010

I Haven't Run Away From Home

The day after my last whiny post, a very good friend lent me a teenager, I got a nap, did some laundry and felt a lot better.

Some days are good. Some days are hard. That much isn't so different from any other time in life.

The differences post-baby are that I have to get used to a tiny, helpless, demanding person, deal with physical pain and healing (more this time than ever before), fight through depression, and still do all the regular stuff.

Right now I'm having an extra hard time, because in my last trimester I developed carpal tunnel syndrome as I got swollen and the extra fluid pinched the nerves in my arms. I lost feeling in the fingertips of my right hand and gripping a steering wheel, a knife (to cut up vegetables) or a pen (to write thank you notes) leaves my whole hand both numb and painful at the same time. My left arm and wrist are even worse. I have a wrist brace, but I'm in constant pain and the littlest stuff hurts.

Although it is laughable, because I never achieve perfection in anything, I suppose I do have perfectionist aspirations. Not being able to do the things I want to do is very frustrating and depressing. I already have a tendency to suffer from post-partum depression and feeling helpless doesn't help.

I'm taking vitamins and fish oil, which seemed to help some with depression last time around and my husband is helping me get used to assigning more tasks and figuring out what I can do. So far it's going ok. I know we aren't guaranteed easy, but I find myself wishing it could all not be so dang hard either.

9 comments:

melissa said...

I so understand this. And while I never had the carpal tunnel problem with the babies, did crack my tailbone with the delivery of one. Can't compare to wrist pain, though. Yours is so continual---at least I could find relief in being still.

Your post is heartfelt and so understandable. I'd much rather you talk this way than cover it up and sound like superwoman. Just ain't so, is it?

This is where the *leaning on the Lord* part comes in so handy. You feel so beaten down and it's hard to see past that. Every day will get better, though. I'm living proof. :)

Take care, sweet one.

Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith said...

Jordana,

I am sorry to heard about your carpal tunnel isses along with a new baby, and your hormones out of wack. I wish I could help!

Amy said...

Carpal tunnel is the most annoying thing EVER! I'm so sorry you have that on top of all else.

Is there anything I can do? I'm not far away you know!

mrsdarwin said...

So sorry to hear about the chaos. The carpal tunnel sounds so painful, and it is always frustrating not to be able to do the little things that ought to be simple. You'll be in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

I don't have a teenager to lend you, but I can come entertain the kids for a while once school starts.

I'm sorry your recovery has been harder this time.

Meredith

nicole said...

Ah, boo for you. Sounds like a lot to handle, really, a lot. I'll pray for you. I don't have the physical ailments you do, but I can relate to that last thought on your post. I hope it gets better.

Amy said...

I tagged you in a fun Catholic meme - if you're feeling up to it!

Kim said...

I am praying for you, Jordana! I wish I lived closer. I have two teens I'd be sending your way if I could! Please get that teen back if you can. Don't be afraid to ask for help!

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